Late night musings..

I don't know how to preface this entry, except to say that it is not an attempt for validation of my worth, or fishing for compliments. It is simply a subject that has been on my mind. It is something I don't think is talked about often enough, yet affects a lot of people to varying degrees.

Many people I know (myself included) struggle with some sort of depression. There is a lot of medication, therapy, and help groups for it. Yet what happens when none of those methods are sufficient for the one struggling? Often, death seems like the only answer. I have been lucky enough to have options (therapy, medications, etc,) that help me function in society and find my own version of happiness. But there are those who do not find a better way to live. Even successful people struggle. I think of Robin Williams. One of the best comedians of our time, and yet he reached a place where he could no longer fight off the depression. He seemed to have it all, money, fame, success. His life is a testament that those things do not equal true happiness.

Some consider suicide as a selfish act. I do not. Not that I think suicide is ok, either. I just know that sometimes the darkness seems so deep and dark that one cannot see any other way to make the pain go away. Of course it is sad and tragic.  There are often families left behind to grieve. Yet, that person wasn't trying to hurt them. Rather, they could not see past their own internal pain. And for some one to be hurting so much that death was the only viable option, well, at least they have been released from the chains that bound them to their pain. To clarify: me expressing these views does NOT mean I, myself, am suicidal. These are my personal perspectives on a subject, please do not take it as I am feeling suicidal. I definitely am grateful to be alive and have hope for my future.

Many people from all walks of life have differing views on suicide, and that's ok. I'm just saying that until you have been where that person has been, maybe don't be so quick to judge and assume things about them. We all have secrets, and internal sufferings. Some are so great that it can take all we have just to function through day to day life. For those of you who are struggling, know that you are not alone. Depression is a very isolating disease, but take comfort in that the feelings you are feeling are not yours alone. And they will pass, even if that means they only slightly lessen. It's a start.